If the U.S.S. Enterprise were running a Microsoft OS

The 24th century will be a lot different if Microsoft were still around.
For example:

Captain Picard enters the bridge and says, "I don't recall giving an order
to enter warp." Lt Commander Data responds, "Captain, the ship has not
entered warp, the 'Flying Through Space' screensaver has simply activated

As the Enterprise is about to enter battle, Captain Picard commands the
ship's computer to raise the shields. The computer completely ignores
him for at least ten seconds. During the crew's terrified silence,
they can hear the computer accessing the iso-linear memory circuits
for absolutley no reason. Finally the computer responds and raises the
shields five milliseconds before the ship is struck by a photon torpedo.

After Lt Commander Data finishes plotting a course to the nearest starbase,
he presses the "engage" button. The computer responds with an "Unrecoverable
Application Error."

The Enterprise computer has just been upgraded. As it is booted for the
first time, it begins running the MSSSN (Microsoft Sub-Space Network)
Setup Wizard automatically. Natually the setup fails when the Setup Wizard
requires the names of the nearest 125 Sub-Space Routers; which no one has handy.

Geordi has just finished upgrading the warp core. He instructs the computer
to perform a level 3 diagnostic to detect the new core. The computer scans
for new hardware and after six hours, detects the new warp core. The
computer then begins the process of installing a new driver. It requests
that Lt Commander LaForge place crystal 276 in Crystal Drive A. After
five minutes the computer instructs that he remove the crystal and insert
crystal 227. Another five minutes later Crystal 163, followed by 206,
then 212, then 198, ...

Lt. Worf and Cmdr. Riker complete their latest Holodeck adventure. Riker
commands the computer to "end program." A cloud pattern appears in the sky
and a giant rotating Microsoft logo appears in the center of the room.
The computer announces, "Please wait while the MS Holodeck shuts down."
When the Holodeck fails to shut down properly (Normally, the room turns
black and the doors open), Lt Worf must use the manual override to exit the
Holodeck and cut power to it. Next time the Holodeck is used, it spends
twenty minutes running a level 5 diagnostic since it wasn't shut down properly.


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